Smarter Funny
Smarter Funny
Do you have a good way smart, funny, answering telemarketers?
Give me some creative, intelligent and fun. Example: Seinfeld: "Want to subscribe is the magazine?" "I do" (hangs up)
Well, I'm not sure if this can be apply in all situations, but your question reminded me of the response I got from an email that still cracks me up: What to say to a telemarketer! One thing that always bothered me (and I'm sure most of you have, too) is to sit at the table only to be interrupted by a phone call a telemarketer. I decided at one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were for me. The call was from AT & T, and it was something like this: Me: Hello AT & T: Hello, this is AT & T. … I: Is this AT & T? AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T. … This is AT & T? AT & T: Yes This is AT & T. … I: Is this AT & T? AT & T: YES! This is AT & T. Can I speak to Mr. Salem please? Me: Can I ask who is calling? AT & T: This is AT & T. Me: Well, wait. At this point, I put the phone a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up. I ate my salad. To my surprise, when I took the receiver, she was still waiting. Me: Hello? AT & T: Is this Mr. Salem? Me: Can I ask who is calling please? AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T. … I: Is this AT & T? AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T. … Me: This is AT & T? AT & T: Yes, is this Mr. Salem? Me: Yes, this is AT & T? AT & T: Yes, sir. Me: The phone company? AT & T: Yes, sir. Me: I thought you said this was AT & T. AT & T: Yes, Sir, we are a phone company. Me: I already have a phone. AT & T: We are not selling phones today, Mr. Salem. Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm not really interested, but thanks for calling. When you are not interested in something, I do not think you can express yourself easier than saying "really I'm not interested, but this lady was persistent. AT & T: Mr. Salem, we would offer 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I'm sure she meant it was offering a "fee" of 10 cents per minute, but never used the word "rate". I could clearly see that it was time to pick up the calculator age of confidence and a bit of encryption. Me: Now, that's 10 cents per minute 24 hours a day? AT & T (reserving a little excited about this point by my interest) Yes sir, that is! 24 hours a day! Me: 7 days a week? AT & T: Right. Me: 365 days a year? AT & T: Yes, sir. Me: I'm definitely interested in that! Wow! That's amazing! AT & T: We think so! Me: That's a large sum of money! AT & T: Yes, sir, it's amazing what amount. Me: Well, I sent weekly checks, monthly or just one big year-end total to $ 52,560? If you send an annual heck, can I get a cash advance? AT & T: Excuse me? Me: You know, 10 cents per minute. AT & T: What are you talking about? Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $ 144 per day, $ 1,008 per week and $ 52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how they will perform payment. AT & T: Oh, no, sir, I did not mean that we would be paying. You pay us 10 cents a minute. Me: Wait a minute here! Did not you say you give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT & T? AT & T: Well, yes, this is AT & T, sir, but …. I: But nothing! How do you know that by saying you give me 10 cents a minute I'll give you 10 cents per minute? Is this some kind of suliminal telemarketing scheme? I read about this stuff in the Enquirer, you know. Do not use your alien brainwashing techniques on me. AT & T: No sir, we are offering 10 cents per minute for …. Me: There you go again! Can I talk to a supervisor please?!? AT & T: Sir, I do not think it necessary. Me: Sure! You say now! What happens next? AT & T: What? I: Insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT & T: Yes, Mr. Salem. Please wait. Thus, AT & T now has me in suspense, and dinner gets cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After waiting a few minutes and while I have a mouthful food ……. Supervisor: Mr. Salem? Me: yeth? Supervisor: I understand that there are quite understanding our 10 cents per minute of the program. Me: Id Thish Ath teeth and teeth? (Is this AT & T) Director: Yes, sir, that is. I had to swallow before he choked on food. It was all he could do to suppress my laughter, and had to be careful not to produce a snort. Me: No, actually I was waiting for someone to get back to me so I could enroll in the plan. Supervisor: OK, no problem, I will transfer back to the person who was helping. Me: Thank you. I was on hold once again and got another bite. I needed to stop this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone. AT & T: Hello, Mr. Salem. I understand that you are interested in enrolling in our plan? Me: Do you have something that friends and family because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I really would like a little brother ……… AT & T: (click)
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Smarter Funny
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Best tv commercial ever!!! Smart and funny!!!